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Review: 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See
Posted by Patrick Sauriol on Thursday, February 24, 2011
If you've spent any considerable length of time watching film then you know there are bad movies -- and then there are the really bad ones. You can identify these stinkers because there's something just not quite right about them. Sometimes it's their budget (or lack of one). On other occasions money wasn't the problem; it was the acting, or the writing, or the special effects, or the over-the-top concept. Sometimes it's several of these reasons, and on really spectacular occasions, when the stars and moon are in alignment, it could be all of these things.
Throughout my cinemaphile life I've seen my share of bad movies. Some of them are even ones that I like for pure nostalgic reasons, or because I like to root for the underdog that's going uop against the deep pockets of the Hollywood machine, or because the premise is so absurdly high concept ("Look! Giant leeches!"), I can't help but like the chutzpah of the filmmaker that somehow found the investors and crew to make his or her vision. Believe it or not, bad movies can sometimes be good.
The films compiled in 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See reads like a list of the video store damned. The Evil Brain From Outer Space. Nudist Colony of the Dead. The Wasp Woman. The infamous Cannibal Holocaust. The improbable Werewolf in a Girls' Dormatory. The original Red Dawn. Wha? Red Dawn's in this book? Screw that! Red Dawn's awesome!
But that's part of the fun that author Steve Miller puts into 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See. In his foreward Miller gets it off his chest immediately that "I may be having fun at the expense of their movies in this book, but it wouldn't exist if not for some filmmakers who have made bad movies for which I have genuine affection."
Well, if Steve Miller can be a bigger man I can too. Alright then, I'll admit that Red Dawn is slightly improbable in its premise. Just a little bit.
Miller breaks his book up into 15 chapters, like the first one: "Exhibits in Bad Movie Museum". Here he displays off the textbook examples of stinky cinema, the ones that film professors show to scare budding filmmakers about the dangers of making truly bad movies: Battlefield Earth (2000), Bride of the Monster (1955), Creature with the Atom Brain (1955), Hideous! (1997) and Troll 2 (1990). For each of the 150 movies he lists throughout the book, Miller gives you an overview of who starred in the picture, who made it, and then breaks down its badness into why it sucks, what the worst part of the flick was, an example of the dialogue, some trivia about the production, a thumbs down score and a trivia question to mull over. Each movie gets about a page and a half of content, so you're hitting the high notes (or the low ones, I guess) of each movie before moving on to the next putrid production.
Miller dredges up skeletons from the closet of stars, casting back to their earliest acting jobs, as well from future Oscar-winning directors like Peter Jackson. I quite liked Chapter 8, "It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time", since it seems the most appropriate way to quantify Catwoman, Batman and Robin, The Love Guru and Steven Speilberg's 1941.
When he's got the space to educate us about why each film earns its mark of distinction, Miller's able to play the part of mega film buff and autopsy technician, telling you why the victim didn't stand a chance (but maybe you might want to check it out for its sheer awfulness if the hour is late enough and you've got a Netflix account.) He's also able to present a good timeline of bad movies, though the majority seem to favor stuff from the 1980s forward. Maybe that's on account to the birth of home video, the battleground where so many of us fought against renting schlocky movies but often found ourselves unable to resist the temptation of cheap titillation and gimmicky shock moments (I'm looking at you, original Humanoids of the Deep.)
Ultra-knowledgeable film-heads might find 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See a little bit light, and you might find yourself not agreeing with all the candidates that Miller picks for bad movie status. Still, for the person with an above-average interest in movies, there will be enough new titles and trivia mentioned between its covers to keep you wondering how some of these shows ever got made and that they're out there, like scary monsters waiting to pounce upon unsuspecting victims in the back aisles of movie rental stores. Being forewarned is the best way to be prepared for the day you're up at 4 AM flicking through the channels and a listing for Die Hard Dracula tempts you to tune in. Know your enemy!
150 Movies You Should Die Before You See by Steve Miller
Adams Media / $14.95 US $16.99 CDN
Review Score: 60 / 100
mckracken wrote:
well i hope Skyline made the cut... really.
The movie index is viewable at Amazon through their "Look Inside This Book." It looks like the book covers movies through 2009, so no Skyline.
Though it surely must make the cut in the next edition.
I refuse to read any book that tells me Red Dawn sucked.
technically Quasar, it's telling you that you should die before seeing Red Dawn - LOL! um... that line of thinking doesnt work for most of us because, well, we're already seen Red Dawn once or twice and have already formed our own opinion of it. I personally didnt think it was all that bad of a movie but how many times can you watch it in your lifetime before you start saying, "wow.. this movie... this Red Dawn flick it's really a piece of shit, and i've watched it 260,567 times already"? Sometimes you gotta give it a once over (like Mars Attacks and Maximum Overdrive) and then block it from your brain, remembering only that you've seen it once and once was more than enough.
its kinda like saying Phantom Menace was so bad you should die before seeing it.. the point is mute, we've already witnessed it first hand and many of us have it in our Star Wars DVD collections already so...unless you were born after it was released, it's pretty much a done deal you've already seen it.
mckracken
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Posted: 13 years 11 weeks ago
well i hope Skyline made the cut... really.