Corona | Coming Attractions

So some pastor was speaking at church about how his health was deteriorating because he wasn't doing something right, and he found this out when he went to the doctor about something else, and that if he hadn't found out, he may very well have died in the relatively near future.

I made the comment that "Shouldn't someone in the service of god have kind of a leg up in the health department?"

The person who had been telling me the story looked at me quizzically and asked "Why?"

I said "Well, maybe because god is in charge of your health?"

Did he respond to that?

I have had some humdingers with Jehova's Witnesses over the years.  I used to think they were just door knockers, an annoyance from time to time.  A few things happened that got me closer to them and I discovered that they are a wicked and vicious cult responsible for destroying peoples lives so I feel no remorse for enjoying lively debates with them when they come round trying to give me the latest copy of Watchtower.

If I were a slightly worse parent, I'd get my daughter the shirt I saw Taylor Momson wearing that says "I fuck for Satan" and have her answer the door wearing that when they come 'round.

No response.

One of my favorite stories is when a pastor was electrocuted while performing a baptism. (I think he dropped his microphone in the water or something). My immediate response was "So god DOES have a sense of humor". My response to that was a withering glare.

I am not a religious person, or all that spiritual at all.  I am definitely agnostic, with a lean towards aetheist.  However I generally have no problem with religion at all and have, in the past, been deeply moved when I have seen the comfort and strength that some people manage to take from their faith.

It is when that faith is twisted and used back at the people to gain control through fear that I start to get really annoyed, hence my ongoing issues with the JWs.

I have issues with people who are religious for no reason other than "because" and whose only reply when questioned about faith is "you're wrong."

How about people who say: "John 3:36. Look it up. Do you some good."?

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him."

Nope.  Didn't do me any good.  Maybe the King James version of the bible is all messed up.

I meant John 3:16. Shit, looks like I need to look it up. Do me some good.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

So out there are other planets that God didn't love.  Like neglegted children.  Cold, dark, lonely and hating on the Earth for being the spoilt little bastard planet that Daddy loves more than them.  The little shit!!!

Don't hate on the earth just for being the center of god's attention!

We were also the center of the solar system at one time, but unfortunately that could be physically disproven, so people moved on from that idea. Apparently we can't disprove an invisible omnipotent pile of air that sits above us in another dimension that does things with our unseen and unprovable souls after we've passed on where no one can witness it except other people that are forever gone and can't relay any of the happenings back to real living people. Also, another invisible pile of air sits below us in another dimension and is responsible for all the evil in the world (so that the first pile of air can't be disproven by the fact that he allows all this goddamn evil to exist). And if it can't be disproven, it must be true!!!!!

Yeah...and why did god need for Jesus to die anyway?  He's GOD!  Can't He do the forgiving on His own?  I mean, he's omnipotent, right?  And loving, allegedly. 

Just you wait -- at some point in the not-too-distant future, Elvis will be worshipped as some sort of messiah.

John 3:36 is like the meaner older brother of John 3:16.

I feel compelled to Wall-of-Text this thread.  I'm doing my best to resist.
 

PLEASE GOD, NO!!! NOT THE WALL OF TEXT!!!!!

This is a future conversation that has not yet happened but I've already planned based on repeated comments already made:

Believer in god: The world's in a terrible place. Things didn't use to be like this.

Future comment by myself: So, since god has a perfect plan for humanity, and god knows all things including the future, and you're saying things are worse than they were and getting worse all the time, what does that say for your opinion of god and his perfect plan?

Future comment by believer in god: unknown at this time (except by god)

I'd think the believer would say something to the effect of God testing everyone and weeding out the undesirables in time for the Rapture.

How does a loving god make creatures he finds "undesirable" only to sentence them to an eternity of unimaginable suffering? 

The loving god creates an immortal soul, causes it to be born in human form somewere on earth (for the soul's sake, hopefully it'll arrive in a Christian area so it at least has a fighting chance), watches to see if it lives its human life (less than a hundred years vs the infinity of its actual lifespan) as is acceptable to the loving god, while also having to believe in the existence of the living god (who hides his existence throughout the life of the soul). Then based on that, the soul will either live the remainder of its existence in eternal bliss, or blinding, burning, endless torture.

It makes sense if you don't think about it.

Religion is basically what happened as a result of not being able to diagnose mental illness.

If I rocked up today, said I was the son of God and claimed to heal a few lepers by laying my hands on them, I would be sectioned.

If your wife turned round and told you she was pregnant even though you had never got past 2nd base with her, you would kick the cheating whore out of your hovel.

If an archangel appeared to you and gave you instructions, you would lay off the blunts.

If you managed to feed 5,000 people in one sitting, you work at an all-you-can-eat buffet in Vegas.

This is how religion started.

"A burning bush told me to do it!" would not be an acceptable defence in court, but would support a plea of insanity.

You might get away with it if you use it as a metaphor for crabs.

"My parasite ridden merkin told me to do it!"

Nope.  Same outcome, and even less chance of being used as a basis for religion.

If I managed to travel back to Biblical times and brought a flashlight with me, the stories written about me would be legendary. (I would downplay the time travel part.)