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Random III

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It's not that I don't like cleaning Adam54's cock, it's that I don't like Adam54 having a clean cock.

omicron
Location:
Posts: 1238
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

How pathetic would one have to be to assume that mentioning they waited on Dustin Diamond would impress someone?  I personally don't think I would have been impressed if Kah said she ran over him with her car. :)

We were watching Al-Quaeda, and all this time our security services should have been keeping watch on Jakester's throbbing nutsack!-Dalton's chin dimple
omicron
Location:
Posts: 1238
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

oh and here's a link for you Kah

http://dustindiamondisadick.com/

We were watching Al-Quaeda, and all this time our security services should have been keeping watch on Jakester's throbbing nutsack!-Dalton's chin dimple
kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

He wasn't a dick at all.  He was actually pretty nice.  And considering that he had to know everyone in the bar was snickering and mocking- that's impressive. 

Of course, he drank shots of tequila rose, and nothing says "I'm a dick" like drinking tequila rose. 

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

kah wrote:

There you go again, Goiter, making assumptions that I'm like other people you know.

What about my post indicated to you that I made this assumption?

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

What about my post indicated to you that I made this assumption?

I think it was your name and avatar.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

Maybe I should post more as ThurstonMcQ.

I'd post more as Quasar, but I don't want people thinking I've dedicated my life to making fun of myself.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

Not that I haven't.

kah
Location:
Posts: 862
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

It was the part where you said you had a friend.

"Do me harder Jakester, you big stud!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

I thought it was the part where he said he'd dick Dustin Diamond.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

I promise I won't cuddle another girl in your bar, Kah.

Hell, I wouldn't cuddle you.

Just, ya know, bang you senseless.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

I have multiple Facebook friends. That's the true measure, right?

* * *

I don't remember saying I'd dick Dustin Diamond.

That said, I'd totally dick Dustin Diamond.

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

I might give him a dirty sanchez.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 4 weeks ago

I read between the lines.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Whatever happened to Lark Vorhees?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Strider
Location:
Posts: 1430
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Jakester wrote:

I might give him a dirty sanchez.

What about a "Tokyo Sandblaster"?

www.gamingoutsiders.com
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

I am glad I can't see videos at work!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Adam54
Location:
Posts: 2082
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

 Since when do you work?? 

KingVoyeur
Location:
Posts: 1601
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

It's hard work counting all that money, you know?

Honey bunches.....of death!
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Some of that money's money, and some of it's just bedding.   A dragon needs a nice, soft metal to sleep on.  Non metals are all in danger of going up in flames.

I'm not accusing Ol' Moneybags of secretly being a dragon, mind you.  I'm simply accusing him of owning dragons.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

It takes Dalty so long to count his money that as soon as he's done, he has to start all over again, because his fortune's grown 2 or 3 times. He's only successfully completely counted his money 1.35 times in his lifetime.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

The numbers at which he arrives would only be estimates to the average person.  He doesn't count anything under a million pounds as money.  Also, though, he has as much disdain for a single million as many Americans have for a penny.  For this reason he rounds up or down to the nearest five million.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Word on the street is that Ol' Moneybags finally sold the rights to the Beatles' back catalog to iTunes. 

"Sold" may be the wrong word.  He traded it for Steve Jobs's next 672,768,000 exhalations.  It's unlikely that Jobs's brain will live the eighty years it will take him to exhale this many times, meaning his body will have to be kept alive a while longer than he anticipated.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Harpsichords and Moogs should be used more in rock music.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

Agreed.  As a necessary trade-off it will henceforth be required to ban hip-hop artists from using samples, full stop.

An unfortunate side-effect is that the output of this music will then plummet by around 70%.

It's a price I am willing to pay.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 3 weeks ago

If you categorize music into "music" and "crap", the output of "music" will not drop at all. The out put of "crap", on the other hand, will suffer dramatically.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline