Corona | Coming Attractions

I sure am glad they didn't decide to go the X-Men all-black route.

It sucks that we only get to see one Cobra operative. It also sucks that they have to make it so that the women are shot in model poses. Can't they just have a woman standing straight for Crom's sake? Does she have to be angled so that we notice she has tits or an ass--you know, just in case we forgot?

Not that the men are shot much better.

And what's with the whole cutting heads-off-at-the-eyeline thing? Is it supposed to be "dynamic"? Is it supposed to add to some sense of mystique? Are we supposed to be thrown into a fanboy frenzy trying to figure out what sort of buzz cut they've given to Channing Tatum? Do they think revealing the entire head would ruin the mystery of who's playing Ripcord (since he's instantly recognizable as Ripcord from the way he is dressed, holds himself, and is mustachioed), since IMDb does not exist, and we would therefore have to wait until they choose to make the big reveal?

Why isn't this movie titled G.I. Joe: Most of Us Have Armored Abs!? That's clearly the message they wish to convey. Does the Baroness have armored abs? Can't tell! Maybe nobody in Cobra does! Maybe that's how we'll be able to tell Joes from Cobras. Otherwise, you might be led to think that Scarlett and Baroness are on the same team. Maybe everyone in Cobra wears sunglasses, too.

Only time will tell!

say... is that Ricardo Montablans fake chest from Star trek II: Wrath of Khan?

No. That was shot out into space, along with the rest of him.

http://khanfuneral.ytmnd.com

This movie's been a guaranteed suck ever since Stephen Sommers signed on to direct. I believe I appropriately conveyed that in my Ex thread entitled "Worst News EVER!"

I'm paraphrasing. I don't remember the exact title thread.

OMG! I just got the bestest idea EVER!!!!

COBRA isn't just a criminal organization. It's an acronym for the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act which provides for continuation of health coverage after your employment's been terminated. (I know this because my company adminsters COBRA benefits for a couple of clients). So, check this out. COBRA were once Joes. Due to the bad economy, GI Joe has to do a massive layoff. Who do they layoff? Why, all the malcontents, of course! It happens all at once, with all the fired dudes (and dudettes) in one room together. The camera slowly zooms in on the paperwork on the desks explaining the recourse of their termination, and then the camera zooms in even further, specifically on the word COBRA. One man picks his paperwork up, silently reading. Then he says it: "COBRA! We, who were once Joes, are now COOOOOBBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!!!"

He looks around, sneers. "We'll be taking a lot more than just continued health coverage from the Joes!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cue maniacal laughter.

God damn I'm brilliant.

No arguments here. If the images are any indication, I think there will be subtle hints as to who will eventually be in COBRA. My guess is that every eventual COBRA employee will walk backwards, ass displayed prominently but torso twisted so that they can at least see where they are going.

quazar, well I have little to no hope in that abomination Dragon Ball Z adaptation their making.... as for adaptations, people can compare this flick to the adaptation of Judge Dredd and see how it ranks.

movies like this teeter on the verge of failure based on the 85/15% rule: 85% of the adaptation is spot on pitch perfect (the characters "look", effects and costumes), unfortunatly the remaining 15% is the writing the director obviously has SEEN the source material before but had never sat down to read it nor was he ever a fan of the original source material and made so many changes, theres nothing left thats familiar.