The 2010 MTV Movie Awards winners mostly suck

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Posted by Patrick Sauriol on Monday, June 7, 2010

Much like miners used to have canaries in the coal mines they worked in to determine if there were dangerous levels of invisible gas that could harm them, the barometer of toxic danger levels for pop culture appears to be the MTV Movie Awards. When it was established a decade and a half ago, the MTVMAs were a fun event that celebrated pop culture entertainment. They still are, it's just that the movies have gotten worse (or I've gotten older and crankier. Hey you kids, get off of my lawn!)

Last night Aziz Ansari earned his paycheck and hosted the event. There weren't any surprises: anything that the last Twilight movie was up for, it took. My biggest complaint about this has to be Kristen Stewart winning any award for her acting; look girls, no one should be lauded for looking sullen, shuffling their feet and coughing into their armpit every couple of minutes. Stewart's Bella is an awful role model for young girls and saying that it's memorable acting is an insult to good acting. Let's make no bones about this: the MTV Movie Awards is a popularity contest for youth, their chance to show showbiz entertainment what they want to spend their dollars on the most.

Here's how it went down:

Best Movie: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Best Male Performance: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Please Shoot Me Now

Best Villian: Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Best Comedic Performance: Zach Galifianakis, The Hangover

Breakout Star: Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air (old people vote)

Best Fight: Beyonce vs. Ali Larter, Obsessed

Best WTF Moment: Ken Jeong, The Hangover

Best Badass: Rain, Ninja Assassin

Best Scared as Shit Performance: Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer's Body (really MTV?)

Global Superstar: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: New Moon

So we good for another year?

-MTV Movie Awards.

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Jakester

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Posts: 5753

Posted: 13 years 45 weeks ago

Wow. That's a mountain of suck.

Honestly, though, I'd give Seyfried an award for simply existing. It looks just like a golf trophy. It's attached to my person.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.

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Posted: 13 years 44 weeks ago

I don't think Anna Kendrick's win has anything to do with the "old people" voting. She likely benefited from also having a role in the Twilight movies.

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