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Movies that need theme park rides

Posted by Daltons chin dimple on Tuesday, November 19, 2013

They closed Jaws at Universal. :(

Amazingly Mummy's Revenge and Twister are still going despite the films being real "Who?" category movies nowadays! Star Tours is being revamped.

What movies should they actually make a ride out of, and how?

The Swollen Goi...
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Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 2 days ago

They should make another Jaws ride, except they should make it on open water, and it should be scary as all hell. Jaws should absolutely terrorize the boat, ultimately breaking it in half. People should be anchored into their seats, and their half of the boat should start to sink. The other half of the boat will be filled with actors pretending to be tourists on the ride. They will be drowned, electrocuted, or eaten. 

Jaws should swim around to the sinking half of the boat and chomp as the boat continues to sink. Jaws will get closer and closer to chomping on the first row. Then a control guy in the back will shout something about how the ride is malfunctioning. He'll go to the front and act like he's trying to unlock the first row so they can make their escape. He'll slip, of course, and be eaten by Jaws. He'll shout from inside Jaws that he's OK and that he thinks he can turn Jaws off, but then there will be an explosion, a scream, and a spray of blood.

From here, I'm not sure if everything should go back to normal or if we should just kill the tourists. Smug bastards. Half of them probably think it's all part of the show.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 2 days ago

 Your career as a Disney Imagineer beckons.  It will be a marvellous career, until the global chainsaw shortage really starts to bite.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 21 hours ago

 They made a ride out of fucking Transformers???????????

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 21 hours ago

 They closed down Jaws and made a ride out of Transformers????????????

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 21 hours ago

 Transformers???????????????

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 Do those ones at Six Flags that are themed but not movie themed count?  Surely Superman could be more spectacular in the theming department?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

A teen got her sliced off by the Superman ride in Kentucky. It doesn't get much more exciting than that.

Space Tycoon
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Posts: 2464
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

A teen got her sliced off by the Superman ride in Kentucky. It doesn't get much more exciting than that.

Got what sliced off? Finger? Nose? Tits?

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

She got her sliced off. She is now an it.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Space Tycoon
Location:
Posts: 2464
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Well, I'm a strong advocate of transgender rights; especially if they happen to be Brazilian and look really hot and feminine.

So it's all good.  Really.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

She got her legs sliced off. 

I probably shouldn't try to post when I'm watching Jubboiter. She really does a number on my ability to concentrate on what I'm writing.

Quasar thinks I shouldn't post at all. He's probably right.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

How the hell does somebody get their legs sliced off on a rollercoaster????????  Short of placing them across the track and waiting for the cars to come past?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"