Corona | Coming Attractions

Season of the Witch - Jan 7 - Nicholas Cage. Need I say more?

The Green Hornet - Jan 14 - Surely Seth Rogen was the guy everyone had in mind when picturing the Green Hornet. Right? RIGHT???

No Strings Attached - Jan 21 - Ashton Kutcher. Need I say more?

The Roomate - Feb 4 - I saw a tv spot and right away recognized it as a remake of Single White Female. So why change the title? Uh, because it's crap?

Gnomeo and Juliet 3D - Feb 11 - Without knowing a thing about this movie, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it's complete CRAP!

Just Go With It - Feb 11 - With a 100% generic title like that, how could it be anything but terrible?

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never - Feb 11 - Justin Bieber. Need I say more?

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son- Feb 18 - Oh fucking god.

Who the fuck is still going to Martin Lawrence movies?  Who?

Honky Grandma be Trippin' !

More examples:

The Rite - Jan 28 - Anthony Hopkins. It seems there's always a crappy movie like this during the dump period, only they change the star involved.

Just Go With It - Feb 11 - Adam Sandler AND Jennifer Aniston. NEED I SAY MORE??

That's the second time you've listed Just Go with It.

But now I have more info about how awful it'll be!

He's just trying to find some way to remember the title.  The more he uses it, the easier it will be.  "What's that new Jennifer Aniston movie called again?"  "Just Do It, I think."  "No.  It's something like that, but I don't think that's right."  "Oh, I remember.  It's Just Go for It."  "Yeah, that's it.  No, no wait.  That's close, but it's still wrong."

Here's a list of titles for some of the movies Aniston has been in.  See if you can remember anything about the specific movies from the titles alone:

Love Happens
He's Just Not That into You
Rumor Has It...
The Object of My Affection
'Til There Was You
She's the One

I don't suppose she's to blame for her unmemorable titles.  Seems like any actress who gets swallowed up in Romantic Comedy Hell is doomed to a string of unmemorable titles.  Look at titles of these recent romantic comedies (all released in 2005 or later):

Life as We Know It
The Ugly Truth
No Reservations
How Do You Know
Something's Gotta Give
It's Complicated
Just Like Heaven
You Again
Going the Distance
Just My Luck
Definitely, Maybe
Picture This
Just Friends
P.S. I Love You
When in Rome 
She's Out of My League

(Note: a handful of these are borrowed song titles.  I recognize them as song titles, but I have difficulty remembering what movie went with what song title.) 

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

Just My Luck

This film should be saved for posterity as the only movie where "The Lohan" was old enough that you didn't feel guilty for thinking about fucking her, but hadn't become a crack whore yet.

I wonder if we shall ever see her return?

My absolute favorite generic romcom title is Someone Like You (w/ Ashley Judd & Hugh Jackman). It was adapted from the novel Animal Husbandry, so instead of keeping that title, which actually stands out from the generic norm, they decided to go with a title so goddamn generic, you actually forget the name of the movie between seeing it on the poster and walking 10 feet to the ticket counter. And yes, despite it being my favorite example of genericism, I forgot the name too. I had to look it up.

She's out of my League was pretty funny.  Alice Eve is hot.

So we all agree that we love a good RomCom?

A good RomCom?  Sure.  She's Out of my League was more Forgetting Sarah Marshall than any Aniston RomCom, though.

I like some of them quite a bit.  Even though there's a pretty narrow formula for romantic comedies, some of them find just the right note, or find some way to tease our expectations.  It comes down to execution and winning performances.  This is the case with any kind of movie, I guess.

Sweet Home Alabama was not a good RomCom.

The fact that Natalie Portman appears in the poster for No Strings Attached wearing a dress shirt and nothing else almost makes me want to go see the movie even though I'm sure it will suck. Almost.

Do you really want to watch love scenes that in any way involve Ashton Kutcher?

There are certain actors that should not be in RomCom's.  IMHO Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman are on that list.  As much as I like Natalie Portman, I just don't think she is right for a romantic comedy.  Another actor on that list is Seth Rogen.  I watched Knocked Up last weekend and was extremely disappointed.

A good RomCom has to have actors that have chemistry.  That is whay Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan had so many successful movies, they just have a certain chemistry that makes it believable.

Knocked Up was not as good as I was expecting, but I didn't hate it. 

Also, I think Heigl's turned into a bitchy cunt.  Or maybe she's always been one, but her success has let it shine.

I'd like her more if she would show those beautiful ta-ta's.

I have recently sat (or in one case, stood) through "Bride Wars" and "The House Bunny".

Both in the name of research, you understand.  I am not sure either qualify as RomCom though.

I can imagine that Bride Wars was torture, Hathaway notwithstanding.

 Well why not just ask the good doctor? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao5fW6VUYxo

"If there are 10 films worse than Bride Wars this year....I. Quit." 

Well now I obviously have to see Bride Wars.

Simon Mayo is a douche.  Never heard of the other guy.

 Why is Simon Mayo a douche, Hicks? Er...I mean, Jake? 

He rags on one of my fave bands without actually listening to the music.