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HAPPY RAPTURE DAY (again) MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Posted by Quasar on Friday, October 21, 2011

And it's not some lame-ass "spiritual" rapture, either! No siree! This one's the REAL DEAL! The hallowed and the holy will be high-steppin' their way up to heaven come 5 PM Eastern Time (give or take never).

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 8 years 6 weeks ago

I haven't looked for any headlines about the lack of a Rapture, so I'm asking all of you: Have you seen any headlines that said, "CAMPING'S DREAMS OF RAPTURE RUPTURED BY REALITY," or something to that effect? Because that would be pretty awesome.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 8 years 6 weeks ago

Do you think that maybe if we talked about 'CAMPING'S DREAMS OF RAPTURE RUPTURED BY REALITY' somebody might notice?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 6 weeks ago

I did see one headline that read something like, "Can We Finally Call It a Wrap?  Sure."

No, I didn't.

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 8 years 6 weeks ago

The Swollen Goi... wrote:

"Can We Finally Call It a Wrap?  Sure."

Weak.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 8 years 6 weeks ago

Don't blame me.  Blame the headline I didn't see.

omicron
Location:
Posts: 1238
Posted: 7 years 40 weeks ago

http://news.yahoo.com/harold-camping-admits-rapture-prediction-mistake-1...

At least he admits he was wrong. Maybe having a stroke actually knocked some sense into him.

We were watching Al-Quaeda, and all this time our security services should have been keeping watch on Jakester's throbbing nutsack!-Dalton's chin dimple
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 40 weeks ago

Wow. Something tells me he's been holding out since October, just to see if maybe he wasn't a few months off.

It's still only half of an admission-and-apology, considering he also said this:

"Though we were wrong God is still using the May 21 warning in a very mighty way. In the months following May 21 the Bible has, in some ways, come out from under the shadows and is now being discussed by all kinds of people who never before paid any attention to the Bible."

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 40 weeks ago

Lots of other crazy mofos still fix on this 21 thing.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Space Tycoon
Location:
Posts: 2464
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

And then we still have Dec 22 to look forward to.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

It would take us all totally off guard if the world ended on December 20.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

There's too much Biblical evidence for it not to be Dec 22.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

I will leave my Xmas shopping 'til the last minute then. Don't want to waste all that cash.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

We weren't allowed to say or write "Xmas" in Crossville, Alabama. According to Crossville, Alabama, people who say "Xmas" are trying to remove "Christ" from Christmas. I tried to tell Crossville, AL that the "X" or Greek letter "Chi" is often used as an abbreviation specifically for Christ, that it wasn't secularists who did this, that the X can also be seen as being representative of the cross, etc. Crossville, Alabama wouldn't have it, though, and would give me dirty looks for suggesting such things. 

I've seen it argued that Christ's name and the cross connection is too obvious a thing for it to be anything other than a literary construction, and that it is further proof that Christ is a fabricated character. I've also heard Christians counter this argument by saying there are no coincidences in Biblical history, and that this obvious connection is a conscious connection made by God to give the story even more symbolic weight.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

How was it that Christ wasn't born in a town called Crossville. That just doesn't add up.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

In Alabama, every town is Crossville.

Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

I would have started referring to the town as Xville, Alabama.

Turn your head and cough!
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 7 years 37 weeks ago

Goits was worried he'd be run out of town on a rail. Like Ipsy was.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

When the Rapture comes, his body will have some obstacles to get past.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Shit, who's going to calculate the correct Rapture date now?

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Sounds like a job for Goiter.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Next year, it will coincide with Bastille Day.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 They have a day to themselves now?

'Pompeii' was a hell of a tune but not THAT good.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Somewhat on topic, I saw the movie Rapturepalooza a couple of weeks ago. It was alright. Kinda funny. Anna Kendrick's involvement was what sold me on renting it. Also, it makes fun of the Rapture.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 On topic?  WTF?

Are you new here?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"