Corona | Coming Attractions

Dad Robots?

My kids are a very current annoyance. I need to go the fuck to sleep.

They are about old enough to discover vodka with their OJ aren't they?

Current Annoyance
FileSonic and Classmates.com are charging recurring fees.  I have no memory whatsoever of setting up a FileSonic account.  Apparently I did so in May, and through PayPal.  I wish I had known I was getting charged for nothing for months.  Maybe I could have used my supposed membership to FileSonic to download files faster.  Of course, I don't reckon I'd be able to log in, since I've never created an account (to my recollection), and don't have any login info.

I had to undo my "subscription" to FileSonic on PayPal.  I hope that covers it.

I did sign up for a one-month free trial membership with Classmates.com back in, like, 2005.  I had the free account, which I had set up when my class was trying to get a reunion together in 2002.  A friend of mine I'd been trying to get in touch with for years messaged me on my free account, and when I tried to read the message, I was told I needed a paying membership.  Then I was told I could do the free trial.  I did.  Turned out my friend's message was just "hey," and I was never able to get back in touch with him on Classmates.com.  

Anyway, I cancelled before the trial membership was up.  Thought nothing of it.  Then, a year or two down the road, I notice I was still getting charged by them twice a year.  I called Classmates.com to cancel, and they said they cancelled.  They lied.  I called to cancel again, and they said they did.  The whole process took something like four hours.  I didn't notice charges from them for a long, long time, so I forgot about it, and assumed it was done.  Of course, these charges only happen a couple times a year.

A few days ago, I noticed Classmates.com was still charging me.  

I figured I'd call my bank this time, instead of calling Classmates.com.  I waited for about fifteen minutes to get through to a representative.  I told him I wanted to halt future payments to Classmates.com, and, while I was at it, make damned sure FileSonic got no more of my money.  (I already cancelled with them through PayPal, but I figured it was better to be double sure.)

My bank told me there would be a thirty-dollar fee per cancellation.  That's sixty bucks.  I can't afford that.  Tomorrow, I'm going to an ATM to withdraw enough money to back-pay for the first month of rent.  (We would have paid when we got here, but it took us three weeks to get bank accounts.  That's another story.  I will spare you those details.  That's the very least I can do, considering how poor a job I've done sparing details in the rest of this post.)  That will almost wipe me out, financially.  Luckily for me, we're only about a week away from having to pay for next month's rent.

I never overlook those little charges that don't seem explained, because you never know that they might not do it again, but bigger. A few years ago my card had a charge for a couple bucks from some toothbrush company. I knew I hadn't ordered a toothbrush, nor had my husband, so I called up and had them cancel it. It might have just been an honest error, but I'm not the kind of person who orders toothbrushes over the internet. That's just weird.

I hate it that a lot of these companies make it so damned hard to cancel things.  I have cancelled a credit card before just to stop an ISP charging me.

I keep trying to cancel my love for you.

No one can afford Dalty's surcharge.

Why would you want to cancel? I am so fucking loveable.

That might be exaggerating a bit.

Daltons chin dimple wrote:

I am so fucking Loveable, the midget porn star.

fixed.

Her correct name is Little Loveable McStumpy and I would thank you to respect her by using her full name. RESPECT THE MIDGET!

Dwarves can go fuck themselves though.

Dalty doesn't give a toss for dwarves.

On second thought, maybe he's saying he likes to watch them masturbate.

Only if dressed as Ewoks.

And named "Randy."

I always thought Randy was an adjective.

It was.  And is.

THe "Randy" in "Randy Travis" is an exception.

As is the 'Man' in 'Macho Man'

Current Annoyance

We were keeping an eye on our bank accounts, and were a little puzzled that the dorm folks had yet to withdraw any money.

We finally got an e-mail yesterday telling us there was a problem with our bank account numbers.  Within minutes of getting the e-mail, we dashed off to try to take care of the problem.  The office was closed.  We could see that there was someone in there, but the glass door between us was locked, so we shrugged our shoulders, said, "Fuck it," and set our alarm so that it would go off in just enough time for us to get down to the office when it opened.  (I managed something like three hours sleep before the alarm went off; Jubbers got more, but I'm not sure how much.)

We woke up and got there around the time it opened the next day.  Folks were already queued up.  I think we were fourth in line.  When it was finally our turn to speak to an office representative, we produced all our bank information anew, hoping that it was a simple matter of something having been filled out incorrectly.  The representative looked things over, said everything looked to be in order, and told us we'd have to go to our bank and try to straighten it out there.  Off we went to the bank.  We spoke to a bank teller who told us there was nothing wrong with our account, and that the dorm people should be sure to add the zero at the beginning of our account numbers, since the zero was important

Jubbers had to go try to get some things straightened out with her health insurance, so I went back to the dorm office to tell them to make sure the zero was added.  

Seriously, though, how could the dorm people have fucked that up?  Our bank is the closest bank to the dorm.  Presumably, others who live in the dorm use it.  Why haven't they had problems?

I got back to the dorm office, and told the dorm representative who oversees the rent that Deutsche Bank said to add the zero.  She said, "We don't usually have to enter the zero."  She entered the zero and said everything looked good.  It seemed to be over then.  

It wasn't.  I soon got an e-mail from the dorm lady saying she was unable to enter the zero (and that the zero was not the problem), that she had been on the phone, and that she was told our accounts were such that only €300 could be withdrawn from them per month (?!).  

So it looks like our options are either to go to the German embassy (really? All the way to the fucking German embassy?  And why the German embassy?) and ask to have our withdrawal limit raised, or go by the dorm office, give them €100 for the deposit.  Then, theoretically, they'd be able to take out rent, since renit is under €300 (per person). I'm not sure how this will work, since they will need to withdraw again in a day.  November rent is supposed to be withdrawn on the fifth.  We're still trying to pay October rent.

Maybe they're willing to let us be perpetually one month behind.  If our accounts are such that no more than €300 can be withdrawn per month, I don't see how they can withdraw two months' rent in a single month.

And has our bank really restricted withdrawals from our accounts to €300 a month?  We weren't told that when we set up the account.  Who would want an account where only €300 a month could be withdrawn?  How am I supposed to buy other shit when the majority of my monthly withdrawal limit goes to rent?  This feels like a violation of basic human rights.  Maybe the dorm lady is wrong.  Maybe a quick trip to our bank will straighten things out.

It's beginning to look like going to the German embassy is our only option.  At least, according to the e-mail I got.  Let me just book some flights to another country with my imaginary money.  Maybe I can go to the one in France.  Maybe I'm not expected to fly to D.C. to see if I can get them to raise my withdrawal limit.  

This all seems Kafkaesque in its ridiculousness.

It's now Friday afternoon, which means we probably won't be able to get anything done until next week.

I should also mention that the dorm lady claims we have frozen/escrow accounts.  We don't.  We have the standard checking accounts.

The German embassy thing is still confusing me.  Do they even have German embassies in Germany?  Why would they?  Did she mean the American embassy?  Why would we go there?  How could anything we'd do at an embassy influence our ability to raise or lower our withdrawal limits?

I've double-checked the letter just to make sure I didn't read it incorrectly.  Sure enough, it tells us to go "zur deutschen Botschaft."  The only way I know to translate that is "to the German embassy."  Her German is better than mine, presumably, so maybe "zur deutschen Botschaft" can mean something else.  Maybe there's some hidden meaning there.  Maybe it's a euphemism.  Maybe it's dorm lady talk for "You can go fuck yourself."

Have I mentioned before that Germany is evil? If I have, it's worth repeating.

I thought this was the land of ruthless efficiency?

Maybe it's different for Germans.

I realize the longer post I made is in desperate need of editing (I was frustrated when I wrote it), but I'm too lazy to do it.  With any luck, you can parse out the meaning of the more scatterbrained stuff without too much difficulty.