Movies: 1135
Comments: 67725
Members: 718
Online: 0 Guests: 492
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of date_plugin_display_attachment::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 33.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 24.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 25.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 26.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 28.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 29.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 30.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 31.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_user::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/user/views_handler_field_user.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment_username::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 699.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_style_default::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_style_default.inc on line 25.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of content_handler_field::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/cck/includes/views/handlers/content_handler_field.inc on line 170.

Amazing Puns

Posted by Quasar on Thursday, October 20, 2011

I was at SHH a few days ago and I was reading the comments section re: Geoff Johns hoping for a GL sequal, and I came across Jack's favorite internet words "(pun intended)". And because this pun in particular was so amazing, (so amazing that I couldn't even begin to understand it), I felt the need to share. The poster's name is Hal:

"I've been a massive GL fan for many years and was sorely disappointed in the movie. I feel it should have been treated like potential Star Wars type franchise. However, I was more disappointed that Geoff Johns let the movie go the way it was especialy since he himself was responsible for the amazing rebirth (pun intended) of GL. I'd like to see more of a reboot as opposed to a sequel complete with a recasting of Ryan Reynolds. I think he's great but he's not Hal Jordan. Anyway, I'd like to see a Geoff John's written script directed by a true visionary like JJ Abrahms or George Lucas...GL directed by GL!"

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 3 hours ago

I probably shoud've mentioned that even better than that amazing pun was the idea of George Lucas being a true visionary.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 10 years 3 hours ago

I should also point out that this may be Goits posting under another identity since he described himself as "massive."

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 10 years 2 hours ago

It annoys me when people say they didn't intend to make a pun. If they didn't intend to make the pun, they wouldn't be calling attention to it by saying they didn't intend to make it. It's kind of like a humble-brag.

What's even more annoying, though, is when people feel the need to point out their pun by telling you that it was intended. "Hey, look, guys! I made a funny!"

Jakester
Location:
Posts: 5753
Posted: 10 years 1 hour ago

I'm not even sure I understand the original post.

Richard Gozinya, Harold Snatch and Wilbur Jizz. Together we are the law firm Gozinya, Snatch and Jizz.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 10 years 1 hour ago

Mal Shot First wrote:

"Hey, look, guys! I made a funny!"

One year around Christmas time, I was just chillin' in my bedroom (PUN INTENDED!), thinking about nothing in particular, when Splinter's line from the end of the first Turtles movie popped into my head. It was probably the mid nineties. I became angry at the line for being so fucking stupid, despite having had no problem with it before.

Now that I think about it, it was probably summer time.

Drakemd
Location:
Posts: 1905
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

When I first glanced at the title of this thread, I thought it said Amazing Penis...and I still clicked on it.

Disclaimer:  There is no pun in this post.

Turn your head and cough!
neglet
Location:
Posts: 1434
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

That original post doesn't even really have a pun in it, it's just repeating an acronym (which at first I wondered whether it was Guiding Light). 

It's not true that you can't make an unintentional pun. One time I was out to dinner with my husband and parents at this awesome restaurant that had a buffet every Friday. (It was not one of those crappy buffet places, it was a real restaurant that just had a buffet once a week. The desserts were to die for. Too bad it burned down.)

Anyway, we're at the table and my dad asks where my mom is. I say, "She's in the bathroom." He asks me how I know, and I say, "She's not here, she's not at the buffet. Process of elimination."

I made myself snort so hard I almost couldn't finish dinner, but the pun truly was not intended. 

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

The SHH poster thought he was making a pun with "rebirth," since "Rebirth" was the subtitle of the miniseries (full title: Green Lantern: Rebirth) where Hal Jordan was brought back to life and reintroduced into the Lantern fold.  (The character was still kicking around at that point, despite being dead, as The Spectre.)

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

Since everybody's talking about puns and fat people lately, I'll add my own contribution.  About fourteen years ago, my best friend from high school and I entered college together.  In our freshman class, there was a young man who was morbidly obese, so naturally we called him Piggy behind his back.  After all, we had read 'Lord of the Flies' in high school (I also, and perhaps preferred, to refer to him as Pigfried (pronounced like Siegfried); I thought it was more elegant).  When we returned to school for our sophomore year, we noticed that Piggy had grown even fatter, by our estimation.  In fact, we were sort of amazed that to both of us it looked as if he was less round than he used to be, and had almost become blocky, or square-shaped.  We thought it was even funnier since it appeared that way to both of us, which we considered corroboration of this strange phenomenon.  We joked that there was some type of geometric prinicple at work here, that, despite most fat people taking on globe type dimensions, he had somehow outgrown the confines of a sphere, and was now packing in extra fat at the corners.  This didn't seem to make any sense, of course, but whatever.  To bring this story into the present, just this past week I was cycling, during which I always end up semi lost in thought, and the conversation my friend and I had about Piggy popped into my head.  I thought to myself: He was a square pig in a round hole.  That made me laugh.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

neglet wrote:

It's not true that you can't make an unintentional pun.

Oh, I agree. Most of the time, though, when you make a truly unintentional pun, you'll probably laugh about it the way you did. If you have the presence of mind to say that you didn't intend the pun, the pun either wasn't very funny (so you're trying to draw attention to the fact that there was a pun at all), or it was intended but you want to make it seem like it wasn't in order to seem more clever than you actually are.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

I wouldn't fuck an unintentional pun with Ruth Buzzi's dick.

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

You've fucked worse, and loved it.

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

I imagine Thursty naked in front of a mirror, with 'Goodbye Horses' by Q Lazzarus playing in the background, and telling himself, "I'd fuck me."

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

I'd fuck me hard.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

That's what Horso said.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 52 weeks ago

Goodbye Horso?

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 9 years 51 weeks ago

If only!

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
atrejub
Location:
Posts: 739
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

After seeing an instance of groan-worthy "pun intended" in a news article today, I was curious to know just how prolific this was. I did a search for "pun intended" through Yahoo! News, limiting the results to stories from the past 24 hours. I accepted both "pun intended" and "no pun intended." Here are the results:

1. "Church to hold fundraiser for school" - "It's a match made in heaven, pun entirely intended."

2. "Estate planning crucial for middle class" - "The myth that only the wealthy need estate planning is dead. No pun intended."

3. "New-Look Xbox.com Now Live. No pun intended."

4. "Md. college books 'cruise' for dormless students" - "We're all in the same boat. Pun intended," he said.

5. "Review: 'Melancholia' is visually stunning, emotinally affecting" - "There's some nudity and the odd swear word but the real impact (pun intended) of this film is its emotional content."

6. "Cynthia Plaster Caster Turns to Kickstarter to Raise Funds for Memoirs" - "The recovering groupie, artist and plaster penis aficionado also has been working on her memoirs, tentatively titled 'Plaster of Paradise,' off and on for the past 20 years. Why so long? (Pun totally intended.)"

7. "Peter Dinklage plays Tattoo from 'Fantasy Island' and how fantasy stereotypes little people" - "But life is too short - no pun intended - to be interested in roles that haven't got any meat to them."

8. "Moneyball: A Winning Equation" - "'MOneyball' marks Hill's first foray into drama, but his comedic timing is his biggest asset here, as Billy throws timid Peter right into the big leagues (pun intended) of their business behind the scenes."

9. "Kicksology: Russel Westbrook" - "The Long Beach native turns 23 years old Saturday, and since the 6-3 combo guard has never been shy to show his true colors (sneaker pun intended), we take a look back at his history in kicks."

10. "Light shines on Hanford electrician" - "'A lot of times, people's behavior, they think they can get away with it,' he said. 'But you live with yourself. If you're engaging in bad behavior, it comes to light.' No pun intended."

11. "Dion's Daily Deals - Veteran's Day Edition" - "Dining Offers: Restaurants have really stepped up to the plate this year (no pun intended) to offer free dining deals today or through the weekend."

12. "Saturday's Game: Missouri vs. Texas" - "This game goes one of two ways: Texas establishes the run, shuts down Missouri's run and runs them (pun intended) out of the building."

13. "New Out Travel Website Launched in Australia" - "I quickly found out that while the famous gay cruises with Atlantis, RSVP and Olivia, are a staple in the gay travel industry, they're just the tip of the iceberg (pun intended) of the diverse travel options for the gay traveler."

14. "'Dark Shadows': Ruminations on Vampire Movie Plot" - "What follows is speculation, yes, but Atwood's assurance that we will be traveling back and forth in time points to a specific story from the original that was also central to the '90s re-vamp (pun intended)."

15. "wildcard Friday: A letter to Old Man Winter" - "After all, how long has it been since you've had a spring in your step (pun intended)?"

16. "Top romantic comedies to watch this holiday season" - "Based on the New York Times bestseller, the story ['Marley & Me'] focuses on a young couple who embark (pun intended) on the many adventures that come with marriage, career, family, and pet ownership."

17. "Candidates talk focuses on Lodge" - "Yes, the deer have no boundaries, we understand that. We need something that Oak Bay will push forward. I think the buck stops here, no pun intended."

18. "OSU must do more to keep students safe near campus" - "With three armed robberies transpiring within six days, it is safe to say that OSU is unsafe. No pun intended."

Jack S. Pharaoh
Location:
Posts: 2231
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

atrejub wrote:

After seeing an instance of groan-worthy "pun intended" in a news article today, I was curious to know just how prolific this was. I did a search for "pun intended" through Yahoo! News, limiting the results to stories from the past 24 hours. I accepted both "pun intended" and "no pun intended."


Like I've written before, the uses of these phrases is a plague, and can't be stopped. Also, as usual, the understanding of what a pun actually is is pretty dubious for a lot of these writers/quoted.
1. Not a pun, IMO.
2. Not a pun (maybe one could argue it, but it's pretty weak).
3. Not a pun, and horrible.
4. Not a pun.
5. Written by somebody who has no idea what a pun is (unless I'm just totally missing it; maybe it requires more of the article, or knowledge of the subject, to be clear).
6. This one is at least an actual pun, though a horribly cliched one.
7. A pun, though again very weak and trite.
8. Not a pun.
9. A pun, but horrible.
10. Not a pun.
11. A pun, and actually made me smile.
12. A pun, though weak.
13. Not a pun.
14. A pun.
15. A pun.
16. A pun.
17. Not sure, have to look this one up (after looking it up, I suppose it qualifies, though the etymology for the term indicates that "buck," as used in the phrase "the buck stops here," or "passing the buck" comes from buckhorn, which I assume comes from a deer, which makes it a little dubious).
18. Not a pun, unless I'm missing something. Doesn't make sense. (after reading this one again, I see what the writer's getting at; the first use of the word "safe" in the last segment of the section didn't register with me the first time.  I'm going to say this is not a pun, and is awful.)

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

I think the "impact" in the fifth one is where the pun is supposed to be, since there's a rogue planet heading toward Earth.  Still, not very funny.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

The ninth one has to throw the "sneaker" in there to try to prevent you from thinking the writer is a racist.  When you have to work that hard for it, it ain't worth it.

Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

You'd be the one to know (yes, I had to take the bait).


Jack S. Pharaoh wrote:

Like I've written before, the uses of these phrases is a plague, and can't be stopped. Also, as usual, the understanding of what a pun actually is is pretty dubious for a lot of these writers/quoted.

If their puns were any good, the writers wouldn't have to direct the readers' attention to them by pointing them out.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

That's the point. 

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

ABSOLUTE NON-PUN INTENDED.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 9 years 48 weeks ago

Mal Shot First wrote:

You'd be the one to know (yes, I had to take the bait).

I should probably be offended by your suggestion that I would ever stoop so low as to work hard for anything.