Movies: 1135
Comments: 67725
Members: 718
Online: 0 Guests: 65
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_display::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_display.inc on line 1684.
  • strict warning: Declaration of date_plugin_display_attachment::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 33.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 24.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 25.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 26.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 28.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 29.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 30.
  • warning: Attempt to modify property of non-object in /home/corona/public_html/modules/date/includes/date_plugin_display_attachment.inc on line 31.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_user::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/user/views_handler_field_user.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment_username::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 48.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 699.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 584.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_style_default::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_style_default.inc on line 25.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 61.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment_username.inc on line 32.
  • : preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/corona/public_html/includes/unicode.inc on line 345.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/corona/public_html/modules/views/views.module on line 823.
  • strict warning: Declaration of content_handler_field::options() should be compatible with views_object::options() in /home/corona/public_html/modules/cck/includes/views/handlers/content_handler_field.inc on line 170.

AICN Writers Being Dumb

Posted by The Swollen Goi... on Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A modest collection.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 7 weeks ago

Maybe Harry just assumes he doesn't need to sign half his articles because his writing's so easy to identify as his.

The day's challenge: read the the linked article's first two paragraphs, try to figure out what the hell he actually *is* saying, and rewrite it so that it reads like it wasn't written by a spambot.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 6 weeks ago

Corporal_Hicks wrote:

 This is a new guy.  He is the polar opposite of Draven.http://www.aintitcool.com/node/64492

Speaking of Horrorella, here he invites people to "wet" their appetites:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/64810

There really ought to be an editor for the site.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 6 years 6 weeks ago

To be fair, "whet" sounds like "wet".

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Mal Shot First
Location:
Posts: 3180
Posted: 6 years 6 weeks ago

And "led" sounds like "lead" (the noun, not the verb). To make matters more confusing, the past tense of "read" is "read," but it's pronounced like "red," and this leads many people to believe that the past tense of "lead" is "lead," which it is not.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 6 weeks ago

 Sounds like carnage.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 3 weeks ago

Papa Vinyard says this (and he says it here):

"I haven't seen OUT OF THE FURNACE yet, but nothing I saw in CRAZY HEART (save for maybe the matter-of-factly portrayal of the central southerner characters) led me to think that this guy could handle the apocalyptic ensemble drama that would need to be front and center in THE STAND. While I'm intrigued to see what he pitched to WB to get him the coveted gig in the first place, I'm equally curious as to what got led him to break from the project. Maybe the buzz off of OUT OF THE FURNACE made him want to stay away from the high-pressure, large scale tentpole game so he could focus on the intimate dramas that are building his industry reputation. Or, maybe, he's a secret loon who wanted to tell the whole story from the perspective of Randal Flagg's crow form as it tries to corrupt (or kill) the rest of the characters. Who knows."

I'm not even going to bother harping on him for trying to use "matter-of-factly" as an adjective. The whole damned paragraph is annoying enough on its own.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 3 weeks ago

This gem comes to us by way of Merrick:

"Nonetheless, one of the more amusing elements of the upcoming MAN OF STEEL sequel… which controversially injects Henry Cavill into the mix as Batman opposite Ben Affleck’s returning Clark Kent/Superman…is: what title would the film actually have? BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN or SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN or some derivation thereof…seems…too easy? Perhaps even lazy. The matter seems to be almost as provocative as the casting of Cavill as Batman."

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 6 years 3 weeks ago

You should check out the supposed titles/domain names, by the way. They're horrible.

Quasar
Location:
Posts: 7588
Posted: 6 years 3 weeks ago

I thought he just absently mixed up the names, but I see he's sticking with Cavill as Batman. He must be remembering when Affleck played George Reeves.

Faster and faster, a nightmare we ride. Who'll take the reins when the miracle dies? Faster and faster till everything dies. Killing is our way of keeping alive. - Virgin Steele, Blood and Gasoline
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 6 years 3 weeks ago

 There will be a lame excuse about a long day when he posts a correction.  I call bullshit.  Like any of those fuckers have interesting enough lives to make a day long.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Corporal_Hicks
Location:
Posts: 1664
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Been a week now and there is only 1 BNAT reaction "article"?

Sent from Dalton's IPad.
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

It's a shame Harry had to give up all those personal tickets. I hope he was still able to enjoy the day, and I hope the people to whom he had originally planned to give the tickets were understanding. I mean, from the list of people there, it doesn't look like he had to give up a damned thing, but he said he was going to, so I assume he did. When does the second season of AICwHK start, again?

Enough, though, about Harry. Let's check in on Nordling:

How has being a writer for AICN treated you, Nordling?

I defend Ain't It Cool because it has changed my life in a significant way. It's made me a better writer, a better appreciator of film, and it's made me a better person.

Happy to hear it, Nordling. I guess this means you will be respecting the embargo against the early release of The Wolf of Wall Street reviews.

This, flat out, is one of the best movies to have ever played a BNAT. I can't review it at length right now due to embargo, but I will later. Because I can't wait to talk about this goddamn fucking masterpiece. And it is. No ifs, ands, or buts. This is Martin Scorsese at his very best - I'm talking GOODFELLAS and RAGING BULL levels of excellence here. If that doesn't give you a movie hard-on, I don't know what can. It fits right in there with Scorsese's great crime movies. I really, really wish Paramount had screened this earlier in critics award consideration season, because I think this one would have topped all of them. If you care about that sort of thing.

Did I mention how fucking funny this movie is? It's easily Scorsese's funniest film. The screenplay is so full of wit (and more drug humor than anything Kevin Smith has ever done - hell, the last movie that had this much drug humor was probably a Cheech and Chong) and charm that you root for these guys, even as you realize that they are utterly fucking our entire economic way of life. Leonardo DiCaprio is a goddamn revelation in this movie. His physical comedy alone should get him serious awards consideration - one scene where DiCaprio simply tries to get into his car is pure sliced gold - but he fills Jordan Belfort with such vitriol and douchebaggery that we by all rights should be hunting him down like an angry mob straight out of FRANKENSTEIN. But you you want him to win, because THE WOLF OF WALL STREET asks us what we would do in the same spot. Jonah Hill is incredible in this movie as well, and if anyone wondered what kind of an actor Hill is before, wait until you see him in this. He is no dabbler - he IS Donnie Azoff, a once nice young man who gleefully throws all his morals to the side once the money starts coming in.

Scorsese shows the real empty glamour of this lifestyle, and tempts us all like a snake with the apple. And the way the decadence of THE WOLF OF WALL STREET is presented, I don't know a single person in today's America who could turn that down. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET isn't an indictment of capitalism - it's simply a mirror. What we see in that mirror is on us. It's one of Martin Scorsese's very best films. You cannot have a conversation about the best films of 2013 without THE WOLF OF WALL STREET. It's that simple.

This, flat out, a full-on review, Nordling. I know you might not have realized it, since AICN writers seem to think a review isn't a review unless it's a plot synopsis, but that was a review. Looks like you guys are only capable of writing reviews when you think you're avoiding writing them.

So if you're not going to respect the embargo, I guess that means you're not on a moral high horse. Maybe that means you won't have a problem with viewing or writing a review for The Fruit Is Swelling.

However, I would like to use this opportunity to talk about why a movie like BIG is okay and [THE FRUIT IS SWELLING] isn't.

You'd like to use this opportunity to talk about it? Cool. Proceed.

What makes it okay for BIG and not for THE FRUIT IS SWELLING?

I dunno. What do you think? Let's hear it.

I realize that we're playing with fantasy here - none of this is real. But it is worth talking about why a movie like BIG is okay but THE FRUIT IS SWELLING is not.

OK. I'm with you. You're taking the opportunity not just for the sake of talking about it, but because it's worth talking about. Right on. Do your thing, Nordling. Get to talkin'.

But it won't be me talking about it in relation to this particular movie, because, again, I only saw 36 seconds. Make of that what you will.

Damn it, Nordling!

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Harry got a new car!

"Been at Car Dealorship or in the new car all day. Now I'm home... Stanley Donen's SATURN 3 with Kirk Douglas & Farrah Fawcett on Blu! Yes!"

Where'd you get the money for that new car, Harry?

I hope this doesn't delay the second season of AICwHK.

The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Here's a picture.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 Hyundai.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 I thought his trophy mail-order bride would demand something better as a payment for the distasteful things she might have to do.

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

You gotta keep a low profile to avoid any IRS entanglements.

He's still dealing with the IRS, as far as I know.

Daltons chin dimple
Location:
Posts: 12800
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

 One would think that if you had the IRS after you for cash, and there was a massive load of grief over a recent Kickstarter that seemed to be asking for about 5x the amount of money actually needed to produce a we web series, that being all over the Internet blabbing about buying a brand new car would not be a wise thing to do?

....says "Kill Bond, NOW!"
The Swollen Goi...
Location:
Posts: 14343
Posted: 5 years 51 weeks ago

Harry's in the Austin Mafia. He's not afraid.

We know from history that no noteworthy U.S. mobster has ever been successfully booked for tax evasion.